did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
