I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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