she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
