Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
