Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
