I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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