I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
