I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
