take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize