i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So vagazzling was a success
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
