Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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