My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
