ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
