I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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