What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
