why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
How's work?
Spinning.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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