took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
