i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
love makes seman taste better
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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