He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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