idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
