Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
