Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
