Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
