this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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