I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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