Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
tell me about the eggs
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
