I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
