butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
