The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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