Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
