the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
