He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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