What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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