Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
