what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
