He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize