was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
