It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
