You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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