it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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