I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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