That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
