She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize