i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
