i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Is it because I queefed?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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