They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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