Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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