I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
And then my night got REAL pukey
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
