Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize