i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
