Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
