Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
