your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize