Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
