If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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