Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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