the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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