It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
