Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
