I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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