Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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