Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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