We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
