Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
