I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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