I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize